Monday, May 26, 2008

Mother Privileges

I stared long and hard at the box of Fla-Vor-Ice freezer pops in the store. Why not?

Somehow, an aura of wrongness surrounded the 100-count box. What was it? They are fat-free, dirt cheap, and it’s hot outside. Why had it never occurred to me before to buy a whole box just for me? I love those artificial chemical-filled flavored ice pops—the last vestiges of a surrendered junk food addiction—and when I visit the rare friend who has them I take just one but can’t help staring longingly at their freezer. Maybe I feel guilty because being that happy can’t be right. Maybe the guilt is residue from my childhood (if my mom got a box of 100 chemical pops, we would never give her a moment of peace until we had wolfed down every last one within 24 hours—so the answer was always no).

Why not? I just never thought about it before. Looking at my two kids, I decided I still had a year or two to sneak a big box of freezer pops into the house just for me and get away with it.

It is past midnight and I’m working on a program guide and wolfing down freezer pops in peace. I’ve lost count how many I’ve had, and I’m eating all of the red and blue ones first.

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